I don’t believe most women are natural arguers, I think they are reasonable skeptics. They require more convincing than men—since most men think highly of their own judgment, believing anything they came up with themselves, or will solve a problem quickly so they don’t have to deal with it. Women often, sensibly enough, require reasons and often a compelling presentation to be comfortable. Discomfort equals interest—loud, and persistent interest if necessary.
The scenario is all too common: husband sees an issue, makes a fantastic snap decision to fix issue and then, eventually, remembers to tell his wife. Who then begins to show interest by asking questions. He becomes annoyed, she persists, and they begin to argue. He of course finds her unreasonable, and totally responsible for starting the argument. But she is not trying to be difficult—though it may seem that way to her husband—she just needs more information and adequate time to process it. Especially since the decision came entirely without her input. In my experience, the less she feels a part of the process, the more skeptical she will be, and the more seemingly argumentative.
If you are a husband who is insecure or impatient, you will dismiss this behavior as nagging or quarrelsome. And if you treat it as such, you will be encouraging your wife to actually become nagging and quarrelsome. If on the other hand, you take the time to answer all of her concerns, patiently, you might find that you haven’t thought things through as well as you had assumed. Of course, it’s better to include her on the front end of the big stuff.
