Have you ever forgotten to take out your garbage on collection day? Remember the result? First, an unpleasant odor. Then, a stench. And then, unwanted creatures such as gnats, flies, or maggots appear. The failure to properly dispose of our waste spawns all kinds of undesirable and unhealthy conditions.
Similarly, failure to deal with our hurts, insecurities, irritations, and disappointments in a proper and timely fashion adversely impacts our emotional and spiritual well-being. It can even repel those near us.
If you want your character to be one that is attractive to others, then you need to be intentional about clearing out negative attitudes, thoughts, and feelings. As Hebrews 12:1 says, we want to
throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles” and “run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
It’s our awareness of what’s hindering us along with the commitment to take action that enables us to remove our emotional trash.
Since we all have plenty of heart-junk and only God knows everything that is in there, it’s essential that we carve out time for prayer and self-evaluation. Are you asking God to show you what grudges or other negative thoughts and feelings you’ve grown accustomed to, are ignoring, or can’t see?
Take some time and examine yourself right now. Here are a couple of questions to help you get started. (You’ll find a complete list, along with practical strategies for removing them, in Taking Out Your Emotional Trash).
1.) What unfulfilled expectations or desires have become distorted by wrong thinking?
Sometimes our legitimate desires or unmet expectations can subtly or not so subtly become something we believe we need. For example, maybe you desire a spouse but don’t yet have one. Before long you may come to believe it is essential to your well-being. You become fixated on fulfilling this desire. Your thoughts, words, and actions become all consuming to the detriment of your other relationships or even your health. You may even become angry with God if it doesn’t appear he is giving you what you want.
There is a fine line between planning and hoping a desire will be met and expecting or demanding that it be met. Be willing to grieve the loss of your desires when they aren’t fulfilled according to your time frame. Surrender what can’t be met right now or might never be met so that you can embrace the reality of what is.
2). What grudges or resentments do I have?
Like living near a fast food restaurant and getting use to the smell of grilled meats or French fries, resentment is something we quickly grow use to. We become desensitized to it.
One morning after reading Isaiah 43, I realized I had an old grudge. The tip-off? The night before I had told a friend every little detail about what someone had done to me years ago.
One simple prayer, admitting my unforgiveness and asking God to heal and restore my heart, made such a difference. I couldn’t believe how light and free I felt compared to the months before. I wondered,
Georgia, why did you hold onto those grudges for so long?”
I knew why. I had grown use to them. They had become such a part of me that I didn’t notice how unattractive they were.
Trash removal is about getting rid of anything that corrupts your character so that you are free to be the person God created you to be—one with an attractive character. Be willing to take your emotional junk to the dumpster regularly. You will not only experience stronger relationships, better attitudes, and less stress, but others will find your company more enjoyable and attractive.
This article was adapted from the book Taking Out Your Emotional Trash by Georgia Shaffer
