If there is a bug, I will catch it. As a child, I never had to pretend that I was sick to get out of school. I always missed more than enough school because I really was sick. One evening, my mom thought I was pretending to be sick to get out of attending my sister’s band concert. She and my sister left in a huff, certain that my dad and I were getting off too easy. Later that night after I threw up I looked up at my dad and said, “Maybe Mom will believe me now.”
Another time, I was so sick my family considered having me evacuated out of our tiny fishing village in Bristol Bay, Alaska to a hospital in Anchorage, and won’t even begin to list the road trips from Alaska to Michigan and back when I was flat on my back next to a bucket.
Caring for a sick spouse
I made sure Justin knew about my tendency to get sick early in our relationship. If there is a bug, I will catch it. Within the first two years of our marriage, I had bronchitis for over a month; arthritis-like symptoms from December-March (reactive arthritis triggered by swine flu); plenty of flu bugs, colds and experiences with food poisoning—I blame the cookie dough in my sister’s fridge.
My mom used to tell me of how, as a new wife, she was eager to take care of my dad the first time he was sick. Her mother, my Nana, is very good at caring for and, well, babying, those who are sick. My mom thought my dad would want similar care when he was sick. She was shocked when the first bug settled in and my dad just wanted to be left alone! Eventually I came along and definitely needed a lot of care. If I had to be sick, mom was the best nurse.
Last week the feared fall flu bug struck with a vengeance. It hit our house hard and both my husband and I were down within a couple of days. I’ve learned a lot from the lessons of my mother. I’ll ask Justin what he would like and a back scratch does wonders for him. I, on the other hand, am fairly unpredictable. For example, sometimes I don’t want to be touched at all and sometimes I want to cuddle. Even though Justin and I have been married for two years, it is still embarrassing for him to see me sick in the bathroom. But, oh, how I appreciate it when he brings me a wet washcloth or starts a bath for me.
Communication is key
I’ve found that the key to surviving a bug in the house is communication. Perhaps there is one answer for some people when they’re sick like my dad—leave me alone. Perhaps, like for me, it depends on the sickness. Just keep those lines of communication open so that there are not unrealistic expectations (not a good idea when you just want to feel better). There is nothing worse than getting into an argument or hurting your spouse’s feelings when one or both of you are already feeling crummy. Be patient, communicate and hopefully you will be feeling better soon!
