In 1999’s Mansfield Park, Fanny Price laments on screen, “I have no talent for certainty.” I could never relate. I do have a talent for certainty.
I’ve always carried the philosophy that one should make decisions in seconds and then act. If it doesn’t work out, just wait. It will eventually. At least, until recently, when I’ve found myself smacking my palm against my steering wheel, yelling along with angsty songs on the radio, stomach in knots because I’m paralyzed by the decisions in front of me. Probably because when you’re a kid, you think that all important decisions are remote and far-off. You leave the stressing for later. But now is that “later” and I’m less wise than I expected to be with bigger dilemmas than I’d ever dream of having. Snap decisions don’t work anymore. So I have come up with a system for tackling these questions. It is not foolproof, and it is not a Magic 8 ball that makes decisions for you, but it just may help you.
- Start by reviewing the things that you know are unchanging.
“No matter what college I transfer to, God will still be the same. He will be as faithful at a state school as at a Christian private school.” “Whether or not so-and-so breaks my heart, God will still sing over me in the night, bring my soul joy and satisfaction, and He will still provide hope for good things in the land of the living.”“Whether I major in this, or in that, He is the same.” - If one of your options runs against what you know is right/Biblical, don’t do it. The end.
- Ask whether your perspective on the question is in any way affected by fear.
Are you making the decision because you’re afraid that God cannot redeem your current circumstances? Are you avoiding coming to a definite conclusion because you’re afraid you’ll make the wrong choice? As Ann Voskamp wrote, “All fear is but the notion that God’s love will end.” Don’t let that paralyze you. - Look at the options at hand.
Will you be able to live with yourself in six months if you never give “Option A” a chance? What about “Option B”? Will sitting back and saying no fill you with regrets and “what-if’s” for years to come? Say you’re called to do mission work in the Middle East, and you have this amazing opportunity with such-and-such organization. But you’re scared. It might not fit with your pre-set plans. Your mom will worry. If not going will be something you know you’d regret for the rest of your life, then let that carry weight. My gut says, “Do that thing. Avoid giving an opportunity for regret.” - What option would most serve the Kingdom of God?
I just wrote a book where I spent an entire chapter trying to figure out what serving the Kingdom of God looks like in relationships—but seeking first the Kingdom is larger than that. Which opportunity will allow me to invest most in the household of faith? What opportunity have I have pursued out of selfish ambition? (Ditch that one.) - What opportunity is most comfortable?
Am I torn about this decision because I’m afraid of doing something that is uncomfortable? OR, am I pursuing this option because it’s so uncomfortable, martyr-like and cool, I’ll impress myself with my spirituality? Am I seeking this opportunity because it’s difficult, or because it is where God wants me to be?
Remember: there is no such thing as loving too much, or chasing Jesus too hard. If God calls you to it, it is not too radical, too overwhelming, or too impossible for Him to accomplish through You.
Maybe those questions made your decision more complicated. Sorry about that. But it’s better to consider all sides before deciding, right? Either way—rest assured. You’ll look back in six months, a year, or ten, and be able to say, “Yes, God. I remember that time. Even in that chaotic, freaky time, You proved Yourself greater.” Greater, even than this.
