The world watched in wonder as Prince William and Kate Middleton headed down the aisle toward royal wedding bliss. Every channel seemed to display play-by-plays of the day, and they commanded an audience that included the entire wide-eyed world. From what dress Kate would wear to the flowers the bridesmaids carried, people everywhere were swept away by the romance of this royal love story.
At first I found myself slightly annoyed by everyone’s crazed obsession over this couple’s big day. When I made mention of my annoyance to my husband, he said, “That’s funny because someone at work today was just saying that you were probably loving every second of this royal wedding frenzy because of how passionate you are about marriages.” Ding! It was a like an alarm rang loudly, and something flipped inside my head.
Why was I so annoyed about the preoccupation with Prince William and Kate’s wedding? Here was a captive audience for two people in love about to commit their lives to one another; this goes hand-in-hand with my passion and calling in life. This was a good sign. This was exciting. This confirmed my hope that people still crave romance, love, commitment, and marriage in their lives. Amidst the ever-growing popularity of cynicism and skepticism toward marriage, it dawned on me just how encouraging it was to see so many people actually excited about a wedding – a marriage! This was a very good thing, and suddenly I went from annoyed to ecstatic.
It is no secret that marriage is not looked upon as kindly as it once was. The growing divorce rates are discouraging, and it’s creating disheartening and frightening trends away from marriage toward cohabitation and dysfunctional relationships. People are getting married much later in life, if at all. General attitudes toward commitment and the likelihood of a successful, fulfilling marriage are bleak at best. Marriage and pessimism are becoming best friends these days, and it’s not a good thing.
Amidst the negativity though, there is a shining light – this royal wedding. The fascination with it signifies that deep down, people still have a strong desire and hope for “happily ever after.” Despite the uncertainty and doubt that so many individuals express concerning marriage, most people want to spend their life next to one person. They want to look back fifty, sixty, or seventy years from now and talk about all the memories made, obstacles overcome, and laughter enjoyed. That’s what God intended for us, and there is the deep, undeniable desire to experience that.
Yet despite this indisputable yearning for lifelong companionship and commitment, so many individuals are finding themselves falling short of this aspiration. Why? What has happened? Well, there are many answers to this question, but I think one reason lies within the fascination with Prince William and Kate’s wedding – fantasy.
Many people imagine marriages as a fantasy fairytale free from hardships, difficulties, and the need to work at it, but that is a fallacy. While marriage can certainly have wonderful, fantasy-like moments, they are hard work plagued with challenges and obstacles that must be conquered and overcome. There’s no such thing as a work-free, easy marriage. It simply does not exist.
People are entering marriages thinking that they will live in a constant euphoric state of pleasure, but when reality hits, it hits hard. These same people are left hurt, befuddled, and shocked by the harsh reality awakening them from their dream world where true love is perfect. While emotional highs and cloud nine moments are common in a healthy marriage, they are not constant, and they are the product of effort, energy, and commitment poured into the relationship.
Even fairytales entail triumph over evil. It is possible to have a fairytale marriage, but the reality of it is that you will have to face a lifelong battle of overcoming obstacles to keep it that way. It’s all about redefining what a fairytale marriage really means. The true life version is two people working incredibly hard at fulfilling their God-given roles as husband and wife, constantly investing in their relationship, fighting through the tough times, enjoying the good times, savoring the moments, appreciating the journey, and committing to making it the best it can be for life. In the end, those same two individuals will then have the opportunity to glance back at their life together and enjoy the reality that life together was a fairytale after all and worth every ounce of effort poured into it.
