It was only going to be for a few days, but I was dreading the moment I had to give my final hug and kiss to him. Goodbyes are not my strong point in general, but it is especially hard saying goodbye to my husband. He is my best friend and partner. Part of the reason I married him is because he is literally my favorite person. There is no one I would rather spend time with than him. We have so much fun together, we complement each other, and he literally is my other half. When we are apart, I feel pretty discombobulated, and the gap left by his absence is apparent.
As I stood there in the airport security line watching my husband walk away, I felt the pang of sadness strike straight through my heart. Even though I was so excited for my trip, saying goodbye to my love was so difficult. It made me appreciate just how important he is to me.
Why It Hurts
Marriage changes you in so many ways. Your life is no longer about just “me”; it’s about “us.” You are accountable to someone else. Decisions are made together. As a team, you work to figure out your separate but complementary roles that combine in a winning equation. The truth is you literally do become one flesh, as it says in Genesis: “For this reason a husband will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). It is impossible to separate the spiritual union that occurs between a husband and wife, which is why I think physical separation is so painful.
A Good Reminder
Saying goodbye is a good reminder of the blessing that a spouse is. Some say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I can see how small doses of distance could do just that. When I am forced to part with my husband, I realize just how united we are. I appreciate the team that we are and the friendship we have with one another. I crave the companionship and conversations we typically enjoy together. The small habits and mannerisms that I tend to take for granted come into focus in my mind, and I miss them. I long for the physical touch and affection that makes me feel so loved and cherished. All that my husband does to help me on a daily basis becomes much more obvious. The list could go on forever. Being away from my husband makes me appreciative of who he is, all that he does, and the value of our relationship and marriage.
With life’s constant bombardments, it can be easy to slip into taking your spouse for granted. You can get caught up in pessimism, focusing on the faults and flaws of your spouse and marriage. But when you are forced to be apart for awhile, you begin to realize just how valuable that special person really is. Suddenly those minor annoyances are petty, insignificant, and a waste of precious time. Your spouse is precious, as is your marriage, so you should treasure them like there’s no tomorrow.
Gratitude
Separation makes me more fully aware of how imperative it is to frequently express gratitude to my spouse. Big or small, applaud and express appreciation for his or her efforts. It’s amazing how powerful saying, “Thank you!” can be. Do you feel underappreciated? Use that to encourage you to be more appreciative and outwardly expressive with your gratitude for your spouse. It will most likely catch on.
At the end of your thank you, attach why you are thankful. Don’t just applaud efforts, applaud character traits too. Remind your spouse daily of things you find attractive and value about him or her. You can never be too thankful or too encouraging to your spouse. Gratitude is an amazing expression of love that your spouse will appreciate, and you will never regret.
The sobering reality is that no one is ever promised tomorrow. While it may seem morbid, today could be the last day with your spouse. Did you make it count? Did you do your best as a husband or wife? Live without regret and love your spouse to the best of your ability.
Saying goodbye to my husband, whether it’s just for our usual day of work or a week across the country, makes me realize the treasure that he is. God blessed me with the best, and it is up to me to treat him in accordance with that knowledge. As much as I hate saying goodbye, it sure does make me appreciate the hello!
