With the declining economy, losing a job is more the normal for most families than working with the same employer for 20-30 years.
So when a job loss happens for whatever reason, including lay-offs, budget cuts, or something else, it can feel devastating to a family, and even more so to one-income couples.
However, Scripture list benefits of being a couple when working through a difficult situation, such as a job loss. It encourages us that “two are better than one…for it they fall, one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12).
Going through some job losses during our marriage, my husband and I have learned a few things including, my learning how to help lift him up, and him, how to accept my assistance.
Below are four ways we’ve learned to work through the challenging months following a job loss.
Stay Positive
It’s easy to think about what a spouse could have done differently and maybe retained his job but in the long run, there is no way of knowing if any or all would have made a difference. Often, it’s an organization’s budget or re-organization that is the determining factor.
Instead of rehashing what may have caused the loss, focus on your husband’s efforts to succeed and his accomplishments. Encourage him daily about his strengths and how they are an asset to any company.
Also, discuss together how this is an opportunity for spiritual growth, in learning how to trust God, and to believe that while doing our part, God is also opening up doors of new opportunities.
Be a Visionary for Your Husband
Losing a job is a loss, so it’s natural for your husband to experience grief, pain, and feeling down at times, all emotions that can hinder attempts in looking for a new job. It’s easy after a lay-off for your spouse to think he’ll never be hired again or if so, will have to start all over again.
However, instead of looking back, help your spouse to look ahead to jobs where his past experience will help to qualify him for better positions than he held before.
And since job loss can cause self-confidence to be at an all-time low, it’s helpful to be a spouse who can see beyond the situation by helping him look for even a better job than he had before.
When my husband lost a job a few years ago, I kept thinking with all his experience, he could be a Vice President, a step up from his past positions. I started telling him how I saw his next step as becoming a Vice-President.
Soon after being hired as a Chaplain, his supervisor decided to promote him but wanted his input on what that would mean. With all the cheerleading I had been doing with him to be a VP, he suggested the title and she agreed.
Help Carry the Load
In my husband’s past job searches, I help out by doing much of the footwork for him by looking for openings, submitting his resume, writing his cover letter, and so on. After all, he has to do the interviews, so it helps to save his energy and also helps to make job searching more of a team effort.
With us, I also take care of tracking the positions applied for, along with filtering the responses, including rejection notifications. Seeing a stream of rejections can have a depressing effect on anyone, so directing correspondence through me helps him to keep an upbeat, positive attitude.
For couples where the husband prefers these tasks, there are other things a wife can do to help carry the load.
If she’s employed, that’s a help in itself.
And if she is a stay-at-home mom and finances take a quick nose-dive, she may want to look for temporary part-time work to help during the transitional times between her husband’s jobs.
With more telecommuting opportunities opening up, there may be part-time work from home, or freelance contract work she can do to help during the financially lean times.
Working at home, such as babysitting, crafting, house cleaning, walking dogs, writing, editing and more, may be possibilities.
Trust God With Your Future
Phillipians 4:5-7 encourages us to “not worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need.” Of course, this can be easier said than done but when we do so, the verse continues on to say that we will experience God’s peace in a way that will guard our hearts and minds through difficult times.
Instead of panicking or feel distressed, God gives us some direction to help during trying times. His plan includes working together, trusting Him in the situation to lead, guide, and keep us on the right track, and to offer assistance through lifting each other up during job losses.
Photo Copyright: ocusfocus / 123RF Stock Photo
