A few years ago a young woman came up to me and shared that she was leaving her husband. I asked her why she was leaving, and this was her response: “I no longer love my husband. I just fell out of love.” Saddened, I asked, “How do you fall out of love?” She gave me every answer possible, but the truth was, she felt she deserved something better.
This is the world we live in. Many believe they deserve “something better”—even Christians. No one wants to forgive and let go. Our culture today teaches that we are stronger for walking away and searching for “something better.” Following through on commitment is a thing of the past. Look around—how many couples do you know who have been married more than once?
I, too, once thought I deserved “something better!” For ten years all I did was plan my getaway. I worked hard so I could be independent. I was going to show my husband he was not worthy of my love. Then the unthinkable happened. I became a Christian, and my husband asked me to forgive him. My first thought was, Are you kidding me? I will never forgive you! Foolish, prideful thinking!
This is when I came face-to-face with myself. I realized I was a wicked sinner too. God hates sin, and to him mine was no different than my husband’s. Jesus stretched out his arms for both of us. I, too, needed to forgive. I needed to let go. That day I battled with my demons and grabbed on to Jesus’s hand—closing my eyes, not knowing where he would be taking me, but knowing he could be trusted.
I have wondered many times how Jesus felt. He did deserve “something better.” This was the Son of God, the royal Prince. Did he whine and complain, did he walk away and say, “Forget it!”? Not at all. The night before his death, Jesus even washed the feet of Judas, the man who would betray him. Then Jesus went to pray to his Father on our behalf.
This was no easy task for the Son of God—remember, at that moment, he was man! Look at what Matthew 26:42 says:
Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done.”
This was not the first time he pleaded; it was the second time. Then later in the passage it says he went back to pray the same prayer for a third time. Three times he pleaded, “Let this cup pass.” When the going got tough, he didn’t walk away from the cross.
Jesus endured the cross for us so we could be forgiven. He was perfect without sin. He didn’t point his finger at us and say, “I deserve better. I’m out of here; I’m going back to my Father.” He followed through and finished his commitment to us. He was a perfect example of a bridegroom who loves and forgives no matter what the offense. He surrendered; he put his feelings aside and considered each and every one of us more important than himself. This is the perfect picture of what a marriage should look like.
Really, do we deserve “something better,” or does God deserve “something better” from us? Don’t look to your spouse and want him or her to change. Look to the cross and ask God how you can change. Ask the Spirit to fill you up with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I guarantee that when you are filled, you will experience “something better.”
My husband and I were sixteen and pregnant when we married. It was tough, and we endured many obstacles. But by the grace of God we will be celebrating forty-six years of marriage this year. I always had “something better”—I just did not know it back then!
Image credit: logoboom / 123RF Stock Photo
Irene Garcia and her husband have fostered or raised nearly thirty-two children, many of whom have special needs. They worked in Special Ministries at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California, and started the special-needs ministry at Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, California. She is the author of Rich In Love: When God Rescues Messy People in which Irene and her husband bravely share their stories and how they learned to live joyful, faith-filed lives even in the darkest hours. Find more about Irene’s story at her website.
