OK ladies, how many of you have at least one part of your body you’re not happy with? If I asked for a show of hands, I expect every hand would go up – including mine! Let me offer this advice: Keep it to yourself, at least as far as your husband is concerned! (This applies to boyfriends, too, but I’ll write this article in terms of husband-wife.)
Women like to share things and you may find this statement shocking, but you don’t need to tell your significant other everything! I know I have the tendency to point out the things I don’t like about my body hoping to get a compliment in return. This may not be the best approach.
Don’t burst his bubble!
I’ve talked to many guys about this, and here’s the one thing they all say: “I don’t want my wife to list out the physical things she doesn’t like about herself!” Here’s the insight: Many guys think the beautiful woman they fell in love with is perfect. When you tell him things you don’t like about yourself, it bursts his ‘perfect bubble’ regarding you.
The thing you like least about yourself may be one thing he particularly loves – or at least is something he doesn’t view in a negative light. As soon as you start complaining about it, he might start to agree with you. Why would you want to be the cause of him seeing you in a negative light?
I Corinthians 7 states the wife’s body belongs to her husband which he considers to be one of the most glorious gifts God will ever give him. Why would you want to criticize his gift?
Now batting, Number 2…
Let me give you an example. Let’s say your husband is a big sports fan, and his hero is Derek Jeter (sorry all you Red Sox fans – feel free to substitute David Ortiz). Suppose your husband got to meet Derek in person and get a picture with him. A few weeks later, he receives the picture in the mail with a hand written note from Derek all nicely framed by the Yankees. It quickly becomes one of his most prized possessions, and holds a prominent spot in his man-cave.
Imagine what would happen if one day you commented, “In the picture, Derek isn’t really smiling – it’s more of a sneer. If you look really close at the note, it looks like a copy. Plus, don’t get me started on this dreadful, cheap frame they used!” How would your husband react? Even if what you said was true, he would no doubt be hurt and disappointed. So, why would you ever criticize this gift he received?
Your body is God’s gift to your husband – how dare you criticize it!
In the same way, even if your criticism about your own body is true, why even bring it up? Your body is God’s gift to your husband – how dare you criticize it! If you have to complain, talk to your best girlfriend or your mother or a counselor, but not to your husband!
The more you respect and take pride in your body (Eph 2:10, Ps 139:14), the more he will, too! The more you act confident in what you have to offer him, the more he will mirror your attitude. Please, please, please, don’t complain about your body to your husband!
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