In order to have healthy communication, open and honest transparency is necessary. You must walk your talk—your behavior, your facial expressions, and the tone of your voice must match what you say. “You’re right” can mean you are mad, sad, happy, afraid, humble, proud—depending on the way you say it and your body language.
“When a situation with his girls is grieving Ben,” Jennifer says, “I’ll see that it’s weighing on him by his body language or other things. He might be quieter or more uptight or less engaged. During moments like that, I try to find a way to diffuse the situation and help him through it, whether that means talking about what’s going on or sending him off for a hike. Knowing what the other person needs and giving him the freedom to do what he needs to do is important.”
Messages can get confusing when you say one thing, but the inflection of your voice and your body signals say another. Statistics say that communication is 38 percent tone, 55 percent body language, and only 7 percent words!
“Jennifer’s really good about helping me through things that I can’t even articulate,” Ben says. “I try to find balance to know what I can and can’t solve. And I try to let go of the things I can’t fix…I do what I can but put the rest in God’s care.”
Good communication is conveying what is in your heart and knowing that your future spouse lovingly receives it. When you express your thoughts and your partner listens and responds with feedback and understanding, you both become successful communicators and will grow closer in your relationship.
What keys to communicating well have you found successful in your marriage? I’d love to know!
*Adapted from The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Lifetime of Love & Happiness. Copyright © 2014, all rights reserved. Visit www.SusanGMathis.com for more.
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