There comes a point in a serious relationship when a decision is made about the couple’s future. Marriage and kids may be discussed, ring sizes can be exchanged, and sometimes a couple browses a jewelry store or two. Sometime shorty after that conversation happens, it appears that everyone else in the world somehow senses the couple is considering taking their relationship to the next level and isn’t afraid to ask about it.
Somewhere around the year and a half mark of my almost 2 year long relationship, everyone on the planet began to ask me for details about when we would get engaged. (HELLO!!! I thought the girl isn’t supposed to know the plans! Ask him!) I am beginning to suspect I am in the first of what will be many abiding periods in our relationship.
When I say abiding period, I mean the waiting time between one phase and another. It’s a time when you know something big is about to happen and want it to really bad, but it just isn’t here yet. It could be the time between casual dating and commitment, dating and engagement, engagement and the wedding day, trying to get pregnant and pregnancy, and so on. I am trying to use this time to learn a few lessons about how to handle the wait.
Practice faith.
God says he has a plan. God says to abide in him. God says and says, but do I actually do? God has worked out the timing of everything else in my life, so he must also be working out the timing of my engagement and marriage. We have submitted our relationship to the Lord and have made him a part of it, so I must in turn allow God to work it out according to his timing and his plan. While waiting for the next big phase in my life, I am practicing waiting on God in the future.
Trust your spouse, or spouse to be.
One big lesson I am trying to learn is to trust the man I have chosen to be my future husband. I am supposed to submit to him after we are married, yet I want to control everything about our engagement. I am planning to trust him to be my spiritual leader, so I should be able to trust him to buy a ring, right? Not as easy said as done. It’s hard to chill out and let him lead us through this time, but I need to practice doing it now. On that note, I am also trying to learn the boundaries that go along with trust. Is it not OK to search his emails, bank statements, or personal property. I know this, but that does not mean I haven’t been tempted.
Be patient with people.
I am also trying to learn to be patient with other people. Friends, family, and co-workers mean well, but when you are itching or an engagement ring and the third person that day asked you if you are engaged yet, its kind of hard to be kind. However, I am trying to remember they are excited to me and want to share in my happiness. It is important to be patient with people who share their questions, unsolicited advice, and expectations with you. God called us to be Christ like and loving and it is wrong to take your frustrations and emotions out on others.
Waiting isn’t easy, but it provides lessons to guide us through all phases of live.
