When was the last time you and your spouse got away? You know, just the two of you. No cell phones or computers. No phone calls or distractions. Just the two of you spending time together, laughing, talking, and enjoying each other’s company.
Life is one thing after another. There is always something to do, somewhere to be, and someone to be in touch with. You may find that with all the demands on you, there is little to no time for your spouse.
We are left then with the need to make time to be with our spouse. While this may initially seem easier said than done, it is essential. If you think back to when you first started dating, you probably spent every free minute together and even some not-so-free time together, because you just could not wait to be with him/her. You could talk for hours on end, even if it had to be on the telephone. It was all about spending “can’t-get-enough-of-you time” with that special someone.
Statistically speaking, that infatuated stage of the relationship fades after a period of two years on average; and it is probably a good thing so that you can function properly in your job, daily responsibilities, and other relationships. The concept of intentionality and quality time, though, needs to be incorporated into the next stage of your relationship, which is less euphoric and more realistic. Just because you aren’t feeling as inundated with butterflies as you once were, doesn’t mean that the next stage isn’t as fulfilling. In fact, when we transition from the infatuated stages into the intentional stage properly, a deeper intimacy is forged. The relationship begins to really form on a strong foundation beyond emotional highs. This is the stage where we grow deep roots for the marriage in friendship, commitment, faithfulness, and deliberation.
When the emotional highs fade in a marriage, people tend to distance themselves from the relationship and allow life’s demands to take over. Gradually they spend less and less time together, forgetting to enjoy the precious time they have with their spouse. While life has a way of pulling us in a million directions, it is up to us to guide our time wisely, being careful to prioritize the things that really matter. Marriage is no different from the dating relationship when it comes to the need for romance, thoughtfulness, and time spent with one another.
The perfect way to savor the company of your spouse, and not only keep that flame burning bright but intensify it, is to get away together. That’s right, just book a little getaway for the two of you. If you have the time and finances, take a week-long trip to somewhere both of you find exciting. If time and money are a little tough to come by, plan a weekend getaway close to home. It can be as simple as finding a cheap hotel in the town next to you or as elaborate as a tropical escape to a luxury resort. Camping is an inexpensive and fun trip that is definitely conducive to quality time. Remember that the point of it is to spend time truly enjoying one another without the distractions of everyday life. If you absolutely must bring your computer and/or phones, limit yourself to very limited time frames. Unplug and enjoy one another’s company.
Taking mini-vacations together not only gives you time to keep that friendship going, but it also allows you to have fun together and keep the romance alive. It provides a break from some of the typical chaos and stress just to laugh and make memories. If you want your marriage to stay lively and romantic, then create time and space for it to be just that.
