Be a “Love Him” Wife

“God doesn’t want me to be a ‘fix him’ wife, God wants me to be a ‘love him’ wife.” -Lysa TerKeurst

Today, I fell more in love with him, my husband and father of my children. 

He extinguishes fires and re-starts hearts for a living, and then comes home and becomes the life behind the heart that beats so intensely inside my chest. 

He’s not a “show we are in love” on social media guy, doesn’t like to see his name in lights, doesn’t want me to dote on him, doesn’t want people to know when he’s winning awards or commended for his hard work ethic. 

He’s not a big romance guy or a guy who wants the world to notice him. But he makes his presence known at home. 

He doesn’t send flowers just because, plan surprise trips, and we don’t have a huge bank account to always exchange gifts on holidays. 

But, he’s always present. Always kisses my forehead when he leaves for work. Always says “I love you.” 

He fixes the toilet when it breaks, finishes dinner when I have to feed the baby while dinner is cooking, helps with toddler bath time when he’s home and reads bedtime stories. He’s a present father. 

He’s not a big romance guy or a guy who wants the world to notice him. But he makes his presence known at home.

He goes to the kid’s appointments when he can and attends soccer practices and games and is always willing to help when needed. He takes our son in the backyard to kick the soccer ball around and builds lego towers on demand. 

He’s not a big romance guy or a guy who wants the world to notice him. But he makes his presence known at home.

He likes to drink coffee together and hold hands in church. He likes to tell me I’m beautiful even when I’m covered in baby vomit or explosive diapers. He provides for his family. He spends his off nights with his family, enjoying mundane tasks and having epic dance parties with our toddler. 

He’s not a big romance guy or a guy who wants the world to notice him. But he makes his presence known at home.

And this, ladies, is exactly the kind of man I pray you find—a man who shows his love through his actions and reactions rather than talking a big talk. 

If you are single and looking for the man God has for you — look for the man who doesn’t need his name in lights or is out at the club every night. Look for the man who wants to be present. The man who says “Is everybody excited for church tomorrow?” and who asks the kids what they learned in church. 

Your man doesn’t have to display huge romantic gestures with surprise spa baths and candle walks to make love last. Romantic gestures are great, but a man who is present, cheering your son on at tee-ball games and having tea parties with your daughter—that’s a romantic gesture I prefer any day. 

It is so easy to dwell on all of the things we wish our spouse would do rather than find and appreciate all of the wonderful things they are good at doing. Lysa TerKeurst said it so well, “God doesn’t want me to be a ‘fix him’ wife, God wants me to be a ‘love him’ wife.”

Find what your spouse is good at and appreciate it, respect it, and encourage it.