The Gift of Singleness: Lessons to Apply During the Waiting Period

For anyone who’s been single for more years than they’ve been married, you’ll be able to identify with what I’m about to share. I am a 37-year-old wife who has been married for 5 years now. I  got married in my early 30’s, and when I look back over my adult life, it’s amazing to see how far God has brought me from being a single-focused individual for over 20 years, to now a dual-focused individual: a happily married wife and stepmother of three. It was definitely God who kept me all these years.

I’m grateful that I did not rush into a relationship because I was able to learn some lessons as a single person that I would not have learned if I was in a serious relationship.

Lesson #1 — If you are single and desire to be married one day, continue to trust God.

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Prior to getting married, I had never been in a serious relationship. Although I had a strong desire to be with someone and to get married one day, I could never understand why God seemed to keep these relationships from me (or at least it seemed like He did).

Eventually, God showed me that He was trying to protect my heart and soul from being hurt and he was trying to protect me from being emotionally unstable. God reminded me how He delighted in the fact that I delighted in Him with my heart and that through my singleness, I was going to be a godly example to other singles who were desiring to one day be in a Christ-centered marriage relationship.

Lesson #2 — Count it as a blessing that you can focus most of your energy on drawing close to God and hearing from Him.

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Now don’t get me wrong. Marriage is a huge blessing in and of itself, however, as I reflect on the various seasons of my life, my season of singleness was one of the best seasons of my life. I developed a more intimate and deeper relationship with God.

Think of your singleness as a gift. Once you are in a relationship, you must be considerate of the person you’re in a relationship with and the way you spend your time and energy shifts.

Lesson #3 — God gives us the grace to handle every season of our lives.

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If you’ve been feeling a little discouraged because of this single season in your life, whether, it’s been for a few months, years, and maybe even decades, know that has a purpose for this season (Romans 8:28 KJV). God loves you so much and has a plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). He has not forgotten about you.

Lesson #4 — Pray for your future spouse.

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Everything God does is for a purpose. During my singleness, I recognized that God was and is faithful. As I waited, I had to “pray” the Word. James 1:6-8 says:

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (James 1:6-8 NIV).

Although it was several years later after I wrote down the qualities God put on my heart that I desired in my spouse, God had blessed me with the desires of my heart in November 2012. I wrote down the qualities I wanted in a spouse in 2006. God is so good!

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These are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned during “my waiting period”. I hope these lessons encourage and inspire you in whatever season you’re in. If you are single, already in a relationship, about to get in a serious relationship, are divorced, but desire to get married one day, engaged, or are single and satisfied, take delight in KNOWING that God’s timing is perfect.

How have you been able to maximize your singleness or relationship during the season God has you in? Please comment and share, so others can be inspired by your story.

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