Until I got married I didn’t even know it was possible to chew bubble gum ‘arrogantly’. I had it in my mind what marriage was going to be like, but I still was not prepared. I always wished that the perfect marriage was on sale on Amazon. Then I could just one-click buy it, after reading the reviews of course. But even those are a lie.
Marriage is not easy. It does not come delivered in a nice, neat package to our front door. What makes it even harder are the lies we believe about what marriage will look like. Here are 5 lies that are believed by Christians.
Lie #1: If you have to work at communication, your marriage is over…
1 Peter 3:7 tells us that husbands, in the same way, should live with their wives in an understanding way. Healthy communication is so important. “Stop being a lazy bum and go mow the lawn” is technically communication. However, it is not healthy. We should work at how we talk to each other. It gets easier with practice, lots of practice. Don’t ever stop working at it. That’s the sign of a loving marriage.
Lie #2: If you need counseling, it’s too late…
Sometimes this can be the beginning of a great marriage. I recommend pre-marital counseling to anyone about to get married. Counseling does not have to be with a professional therapist, and it is also not a sign of weakness. A good friend could work. My wife and I lean on our small group at church. You never know where wise counsel will come from. See it, embrace it, and don’t believe the lie that it is over if you need it.
Lie #3: Conflict means you are in a bad marriage…
This is an easy lie to believe. But if you believe in your marriage, you will have to fight for your marriage. For every conflict make sure there is room for forgiveness, love, compassion, and sincerity. Conflict will happen. It is what you do after the conflict that will determine if your marriage will grow or be destroyed. Pray together and seek God’s help.
Lie #4: Having a child will make the marriage better/stronger…
(Cut to millions of parents slowly shaking their head NO). Kids are the best, but by themselves, they will not save your marriage. Only God can do that. You cannot put the fate of your marriage in their tiny hands. Children are a gift from the Lord but do not place the burden on them to save your marriage.
Lie #5: Getting married completes you…
Marriage does not complete you. If you remove God from the equation, you are not complete. Even if you remain married. It is supposed to bring you closer to God. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says a cord of 3 strands is not quickly broken.
There it is, 5 lies people believe about Christian marriages that just aren’t true. Don’t let these lies take root and grow. Dig them up now and let God plant a tree of love and respect in your marriage. Until we get this whole thing figured out I will keep researching how to buy the perfect marriage on Amazon, with free 2-day shipping.
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