Have you ever been in a dressing room and accidentally tried on a pair of pants that were one or two sizes too small? You stuff yourself into them and just barely get the zipper closed. If you were to try to function in your everyday life wearing these ill-fitting pants, it wouldn’t be long until they split open or the button popped off!
Just like you can’t be stuffed into ill-fitting clothes and feel well and function properly, if you stuff down your problems and don’t address them, sooner or later you will metaphorically explode.
Last year I realized that I’ve been feeling a lot of anger and rage simmering just below the surface of my emotions. I knew I needed to deal with it. I knew I needed help dealing with it. But even though I was praying about it, I wasn’t actively pursuing help to deal with it and get rid of it.
Though it doesn’t stem from my relationship with my husband, if it’s not dealt with in an appropriate way soon, I know that it’s just a matter of time before it begins affecting my marriage in a negative way.
I was reminded of that recently while talking with a friend who I’ve always known to have a great marriage. She dropped the bombshell that she’s getting a divorce. She said there are so many issues that they’ve stuffed down and not dealt with over the years, they finally all came out in a devastating way. Months of counseling hasn’t caused her to reverse her decision.
I feel so sad for my friend and can’t help but think that if she and her spouse had dealt with issues as they had arisen, rather than stuffing them away and ignoring them, they would likely be in a healthier place right now in their marriage rather than deciding to end it. What happened in my friend’s marriage has been a huge reminder to me to move forward in getting help to work through my own issue I’ve been neglecting.
If you continually stuff your problems and act as if they aren’t there, at some point they will catch up with you; often causing great harm to yourself and your relationship. I can almost guarantee it. I’ve seen it happen many times.
The only way out of a problem is through it. I believe one of the best things you can ever do for yourself and your loved ones is to become as healthy as you can possibly be: emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. This applies to singles and married couples no matter what life-stage you are in.
How do you get well? First you have to be honest and admit that there is a problem, and then seek the appropriate avenues to address and deal with the problem. Here are a couple of questions to consider:
- What are you “stuffing” or ignoring that you need to get out in the open?
- What is simmering that you need to deal with…now?
I want to encourage you that there is hope and that God will meet you right where you are and help you along the journey of un-stuffing issues and becoming more free as a result. Today, join me in making the decision to begin the journey.
Photo Copyright: yuriisokolov / 123RF Stock Photo
