Recently I was out to lunch with my dear friend, Laura. As we were sipping on our iced tea and enjoying our sandwiches, I asked about her weekend. Her face dropped into her hands and all I could see was a small smile popping out. “It’s kind of embarrassing,” she said quietly, “but I’ll tell you anyway.”
Laura had an all-day adventure planned with a friend. This friend was so excited to treat Laura to a trip to an amusement park! She and Laura grew up together and she knew Laura’s all-time favorite thing was roller coasters. During the weeks leading up to this trip, Laura began to get nervous. “When I went on a roller coaster last year, I felt so sick. I don’t think my body can handle an amusement park anymore,” she thought to herself. Afraid to hurt her friend’s feelings, Laura kept this fact to herself and figured she could tough it out and make it through the day. After all, roller coasters were always her favorite, and she didn’t want to disappoint her best friend.
Laura’s friend picked her up and was almost jumping in her seat the whole way there. “I can’t wait to see you on these rides, Laura! I know you love them,” she said with excitement. Laura smiled back but was pretty anxious about what was ahead.
After the first ride, Laura felt something small in the pit of her stomach so she took a Dramamine and kept walking. After each ride, it became worse and worse so Laura popped a few more Dramamines. Around lunchtime, Laura found herself over a trashcan unable to move. Her head was spinning and her stomach was turning. “Laura, are you okay?” her friend asked. “It seems like you aren’t loving this.” As they got into their car, Laura felt horrible, both emotionally and physically. She confessed to her friend that she didn’t love roller coasters anymore and apologized for a rough day. “Why didn’t you tell me, Laura? I was planning this day for you! We could have done something else.” Laura’s body couldn’t handle the motion of the rides and her heart couldn’t handle those small words from her friend. Why hadn’t she just told her the truth?
Laura and I giggled about this and then went on to talk about something else but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this story. I do this same thing a lot in my marriage. Instead of truthfully communicating my desires or fears, I say what I think my husband wants to hear. Often times I will go along with something Caleb has planned, knowing I will hate it but trying to serve him, and then I learn he was trying to serve me. My dear friend’s story challenged my communication with those I love and with my spouse. Am I brave enough to tell the truth?
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