Alexi received her psychology degree from a university that had very liberal views of marriage and gender roles. Though as a Christian she fought to maintain her faith in the midst of such moral relativism, the liberal views she had been exposed to in her secular education crept into her marriage with Brent.
She just couldn’t allow herself to be “ruled” by Brent. She kept her finances separate, refused to allow Brent to make even the simplest decisions, and fought against his desires to protect and care for her. And she definitely wouldn’t succumb to the idea that she was his “helper.”
Brent, on the other hand, thought leadership meant controlling the situation, so he pushed and demanded that Alexi “submit.” Fortunately, it didn’t take long for them to realize that they needed some counseling to figure out what was going so wrong. Once they understood God’s plan for men and women, they adjusted their thinking accordingly, and their actions soon followed suit.
God’s plan for your marriage isn’t for you to play power games, manipulate each other to get your way, or control your mate for selfish purposes. According to God’s plan, you’re here on this earth to love and serve. If that’s the case, then your role as a husband or wife will primarily be to love and serve your mate.
The truth is that God made man to naturally be the protector, provider, and covering for his wife and children, as well as the leader and, ultimately, the one responsible for the family. He’s not a paycheck, a bill payer, or a convenient roomie—as I have heard women quip in the movies and in real life.
God made woman to naturally be a completer, a helper, a counterpart, a nurturer, a balancer, and a life giver. She’s not a plaything, a doormat, or a maid—as I’ve seen men treat their wives in real life, on TV shows, and in the movies.
When you marry, this should be your vow, your commitment to your wife or your husband. You must be willing to sacrifice your life—if need be—as Jesus did for us.
How do you manage these roles as husband and wife? I’d love to know!
*Adapted from Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage. Copyright © 2014, all rights reserved. Visit www.SusanGMathis.com for more.
