Sitting around and drinking coffee, my friend and I were sharing wedding night stories. Having both been married a few years, we were flashing back to our first night with our husbands and how we really had no idea what we were getting into. My friend, Ashley, had a vision of what she wanted her wedding night to be like when she was engaged (didn’t we all?). She wanted to keep her hair and makeup perfect from the big day, change into her special wedding night lace, fling open the door, lean against the wall, and just radiate sexy. She then envisioned her new husband being overwhelmed with passion as they effortlessly embraced and engaged in the best pleasure they could imagine.
Unfortunately, that isn’t quite how things went for my friend. When she made it to the hotel room, she didn’t feel fresh after a full 18 hours of wearing a 40 pound wedding dress. Trying to keep her perfect appearance, she jumped in the shower but held her face outside the water’s fall. The water was too hot, sweat poured down her face, and her bangs were now sticking to her forehead. She looked in the mirror after her shower and realized her mascara was dripping down her face. As she slipped on the lace for the first time, it was extremely itchy and almost impossible to get on as she was sweating and sticky. Feeling less than perfect, she swung the door open only to have it hit her husband in the knee. Once they finally embraced, it felt awkward. They didn’t know how to move together, he was moving too fast, she was moving too slow, and nothing seemed romantic. Ashley ended up sitting on the edge of the bed and crying–on her wedding night! “This isn’t what I wanted!”
A few years later, we are able to laugh about those memories and retell the story of her raccoon eyes. So many of us walked into our wedding night with these crazy perfect expectations! Isn’t every honeymoon filled with magical and romantic sex? If you’re engaged, I encourage you to bring down your expectations of a Hollywood-like encounter and pray the Lord would prepare you to just love your spouse. Don’t let yourself get caught up in everything being “perfect” and miss out on the first night you are the wife of your best friend!
If you’re married, this story will apply to you as well! As I thought back on our discussion that night, I realized I’m guilty of the same thing, even after my wedding night. Sometimes within my marriage I get caught up in romantic comedies and expect my husband to walk in the door and kiss me against the kitchen counter. I envision that evening our sex will be magical, romantic, and passionate, but sometimes it ends before I even have time to bring out the lace. Instead of walking away and sitting on the edge of my bed saying “This isn’t what I wanted!” what can I do? How do you handle the quickies, the unsuccessful endeavors, and the ”everyday sex?” Do I give my energy and excitement to my husband every time we are intimate?
