A dear friend of mine is getting married in a few short months! As many women do, we got together recently to celebrate with a pink and girly bachelorette party. I put on my high heels, slapped on some red lipstick, and ran out the door, looking forward to a night of laughs and pre-wedding nerves. We started with a beautiful dinner, ran all around our mall for a scavenger hunt of wedding night necessities, and ended up back at the maid-of-honor’s house for some presents and games. All of the women were going around the room during one of the games and giving our friend wedding night advice, when one of the girls said, “I feel wrong doing this. I don’t think we should be talking about sex.” The whole feel of the evening shifted as this group of girls was reminded that “good Christian girls don’t talk about sex.” It felt like something out of a movie, where the air was popped out of our balloons, the music stopped, and our parents walked in to get us in trouble.
I watched the host of the game sit down, feeling slapped across the face. The bride started to fidget in her seat, obviously uncomfortable with the guilt that had just been poured into the room. Fighting this lie, I took a deep breath and said, “God created sex for us to enjoy with our husbands! Why wouldn’t we want to encourage our friend with advice and excitement?” Other girls in the room agreed but the rest of the night still didn’t feel right. The celebration was taken out of my friend losing her virginity to her husband and replaced with dirty question marks.
Why is it that so many of us carry this lie that Christian women shouldn’t talk about sex? Why is it that we can gush for hours about the colors of the wedding, the songs to dance to, and the bride’s dress, but are afraid to give sexual encouragement to our friends? Why would a bachelorette party get shut down with one simple comment, blasting us with guilt for “thinking like the world” and talking about sex? I am learning to become bolder with my friends and not shy away from the topic of sex. If I have a Christian friend or sister that I consider in my inner circle, why would I ignore such an important discussion? How can I continue to challenge my own worldview of sex and continue to see it as something God has blessed me with? Check out Song of Solomon! This as an entire book of the Bible where God gives intimate details of a couple enjoying each other’s naked bodies. God didn’t shy away from talking about sex within marriage, so why do we? I’m not saying that every bachelorette party should be complete with vulgar games and raunchy dancing, but shouldn’t sex be celebrated?
