Candace Cameron Bure, former child star of the popular 1990s sitcom “Full House,” has recently been under fire from the media. Her statements about living out biblical submission in her marriage with ex-NHL player husband, Valeri, have been making the headlines.
In her newly released book, Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose, this celebrity wife and mother of three wrote that she chooses to take a submissive role in their relationship.
Apparently, the mention of submission in marriage contains fighting words! And a HuffingtonPost.com interview with Bure didn’t waste anytime in helping to stir the pot of disapproving media hype.
When asked about her comments on submission in her new book, Bure stated, “I love that my man is a leader,” adding that, “I want him to lead and those major decisions to fall on him. It doesn’t mean I don’t voice my opinion, that I don’t have an opinion, I absolutely do.”
Bure went on to explain the biblical definition, “So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength and that’s what I chose to have in my marriage.”
And so the criticism, scrutiny, and debate in the media on Bure’s stand began. Her remarks on wifely submission brings to boil a passionate but rarely publicly discussed topic.
To Submit, Or Not to Submit…That Is the Question?
A few years ago the question of biblical submission in marriage also made the headlines, when word of a conservative Christian group’s discussion within their denominational gathering spread across the U.S.A. It soon became a heated national debate.
Tuning into the on-going dialogue at the time, I turned to what scripture has to say about it, with passages such as 1 Peter 3:1 and Ephesians 5:22 spelling it out. As a wife, I certainly have personally struggled with it at times throughout my own marriage.
In our marriage, a clear example of this struggle occurred in whether or not my husband should accept a new position at a church in Hawaii. He was definitely for it, believing it was God leading us but I was strongly opposed.
In my evaluation and womanly intuition, I absolutely did not sense God ‘s leading in accepting this position. It just didn’t seem like the best direction for our family, which caused a month-long battle between us and a stalling in giving an answer to the church.
As in God’s timing, our struggle was happening at the same time of the denomination’s debate headlines. This national discussion on the topic caused me to reexamine my own thoughts and feelings on biblical submission in marriage, leading me to a clear choice in our situation: my will or God’s will?
And as Bure pointed out in her interview, biblical submission doesn’t mean that as a wife, I have no voice or opinion in situations. As my husband can attest, I certainly didn’t hold back in expressing my opinion in our situation.
In stalemates like the above between my husband and myself, there’s no hedging around it. I have to ask myself, will I submit to God by submitting to my husband? Will I trust in His direction in this tug-of-war of wills rather than my own?
Overall it comes down to what God instructs me to do in stand-offs of will with my husband, and he encourages me to submit, choosing to trust what He says in His Word rather than my own thoughts. By doing so, I’m trusting in God to take care of me whether my husband’s decision seems to be correct or not.
It was one of the hardest decisions of my life to give in and move to Hawaii but in these types of circumstances, Scripture assures me that I can trust God to take care of me and our family. And even if I believe my husband is making a wrong decision, when I submit to what God’s Word instructs me to do, I can have confidence in God’s provision and protection over our lives.
Trusting God’s Provision and Protection in Submission
Another verse that goes hand-in-hand with submission and is an on-going comfort and help in my own journey, is Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good for those who love God.”
Trusting in what God directs in His Word takes the pressure off of me because I don’t have to figure out how to correct the situation or my husband’s decision. It’s not even up to me to understand or see the probability of God making it all work together for my good.
My responsibility in submission is to believe God and base my decisions on His guidelines written in Scripture.
And submission in marriage is probably at the top of the list in being one of the most misunderstood biblical directions. To many, it may look like I’m giving up my rights, losing out, or being restricted as a wife by practicing it. Yet the truth is that I’m gaining freedom by living under it’s provision and protection over my life.
Reexamining Submission
Bure’s words have placed submission in marriage in the headlines once again, causing myself as a wife, along with millions across the country to reexamine what Scripture has to say about it. And that’s a good place to begin!
Submission in marriage in past headlines helped me to take another look and reevaluate my own thoughts and choices concerning it. National debate gained my attention to the topic and became a tool which God used in getting my personal attention, one that turned my thoughts, heart, and actions in the right direction.
*Photo by sezipix under CC License.
