Buying a car is quite an experience. The online search, dealership negotiation, and financing are challenging enough, but my dad added an entire different level—embarrassment. My dad is a “no messing around” kind of negotiator, and would get pretty stern when the car salesman said, “I’ll have to go check with my boss.” My dad would repeat, “Just give me the best price and quit messing around.” High school Hannah was embarrassed.
However, the worst car dealership embarrassment came when I wasn’t even at the location. Apparently the salesman was amazed at how in love my parents still acted after 25 years of marriage. He asked my dad how they made it work for so many years and my dad said, “Son, all you need is two things: Jesus and sex.” I still feel bad for that car salesman as I think back on that story.
At the time my dad told me what happened, I felt like grabbing one of those memory erasers from Men in Black. “GROSS, Dad! I don’t want to hear that!” However, as I have become a wife, led groups of women through Bible studies on marriage, and now work for a women’s ministry focusing on sexual intimacy in marriage, I think my dad may have been on to something: just Jesus and sex.
Sex is so much more than a physical act, something to feel good, or a wifely duty. It’s a mysterious union our God has given us to reflect the great closeness He longs to have with us. It’s meant to bond my husband and I together, give us secrets only we share between the two of us, and rush our bodies with hormones that make us forget about a previous disagreement.
As a new wife, I was determined to do everything I could to build into my husband and our marriage. Figuring out what my husband loves, I would rush home from work excited to cook his favorite meal, surprise him with date nights, and make sure our bed was made each morning to show him my love. If you had asked me what work made our marriage last, I would have answered with tasks like cooking and cleaning, anything to keep my husband happy. However, as a new wife I never really thought about the great power of sex.
Is it possible that this small act could be the glue of my marriage? Could Caleb and I agreeing to serve each other in the bedroom affect the way we view each other as teammates and friends? Does my attitude towards intimacy with him have that large of an impact on how he sees himself as a husband and a man? As I look at the years of marriage my parents have weathered and compare it to where I stand now with my husband, I am starting to become less embarrassed by my dad’s answer and more challenged to answer the same.
