With all of the dysfunction of the national government lately, I keep thinking if you tried to run a household like the government is modeling for us financially, you would be in big trouble!
And as for a relationship, can you imagine what would happen if you tried to resolve conflict the way our elected officials have been behaving toward each other in recent weeks? That marriage would not be happy or thriving.
We can learn from every situation in life and we can even learn do’s and do not’s about relationships from observing this government meltdown. This article isn’t meant to start a political debate, but no matter which side you’re on politically many of the politicians are showing us what not to do in a relationship.
In that spirit, here are five ways to avoid a relationship shutdown:
Be Honest
You can’t solve a problem if you don’t acknowledge it or if blame it all on the other person. We have to be honest about the issue at hand and make a decision to handle it in a mature way.
Speak Well of One Another
Have you ever heard a man or woman say something rude or embarrassing about their spouse…when the spouse was standing right next to them? I have…and it’s embarrassing! Whether you are in public or private, with your spouse, your kids or your extended family, speak well of your spouse. Don’t tear them down or call them names, use your words to build them up!
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
Mature conversation is key here. No yelling. No calling each other names. No bringing up something your spouse did ten years ago. If you stonewall, throw a fit or walk out of the room and slam the door, the lines of communication break down quickly. Not all of us grow up as great communicators but the good thing is we can all learn and make progress in this area.
Compromise
Those in happy marriages have learned a couple of important rules. If you want a happy marriage you and your spouse have to learn to compromise. You also have to learn to be servant-hearted. If both of you are looking for ways to serve the other and both of you make healthy compromises, you will both have your marital needs met. That helps to make an enjoyable union.
Be Financially Healthy
Finances are one of the top areas that bring stress to a relationship. Sometimes there are curve balls in life that knock us off our feet financially like long-term illness, the death of a bread-winning spouse, or, in this economy especially, losing your job and not being able to find a new one. But then there are times when we are just plain stupid about how we spend our money.
It takes honesty and maturity to set a realistic budget and stick to it. Don’t overspend, don’t go into debt, and if you’re already in debt make a plan to get out and follow through. Start today. If you and your spouse have different spending habits talk it through, compromise and come to an agreement.
Giving your relationship a check-up on a regular basis can help you fine-tune areas that need extra attention; and that extra attention can help you avoid a marriage shut down.
