It was an easy choice to say “yes” when Jonas asked me to marry him in 2005. Saying “I do” after a stressful engagement was the next landmark decision in our relationship. It had been a long road, but still easy to marry the one I truly loved. When we bought our first home, first dog, second dog and adopted our first baby, gave life to a second baby, these were all exciting, easy decisions.
It’s the tough ones that require extra effort. This week, we are surrendering our remaining dog, Barney. The decision comes after months of seeing him become lonely, depressed, anxious and just not himself. Did I forget to mention we have two small children, boys that are only 10.5 months apart? Barney’s life has been flipped upside down and my first (furry) baby, at 9 years old, is not adapting well to the youthful antics of a toddler and avid crawler.
The challenge for us: coming together to make the decision, and then, say goodbye. We trust he will find a loving home, but for us, it’s the end of an era and acceptance of the new one that is beginning. 
While the new phase is truly wonderful, closing a door and quite frankly, marriage itself, isn’t easy. It can be fun: the high moments so high you never want to come back down. But, the hard ones, those tough decisions that the “adults” always made, are just plain out-of-left field challenging.
Second Corinthians’ verses kept coming up for me with this topic. This was the first one I thought of:
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” —2 Corinthians 4:16
God is building us, our inner strength — our character to resemble His. Hard decisions must be a part of that training.
The farm girl in me made a swift executive decision that this needed to be done, and Jonas didn’t respond to my approach so well. I think it’s like pulling off a Band-Aid: Close your eyes, do it fast and then it will be over. That’s why my tone may seem unemotional or uncompassionate. I figure we need to do this, so let’s just go ahead.
Jonas hung up the phone on me when I told him I think we should give Barney away. I knew he was so upset, but I couldn’t figure out why he didn’t get it? His mom told me that I needed to think through my approach, and I realized she was right. After he got him home, I sat with him on the couch and we cried together, agreeing this was the best thing for our sweet Barney, and for us. It still plain sucks, though.
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” —2 Corinthians 12:9
The good news is we can be sad, cry many tears over this loss, but in the end give it to God. His power and grace is greater than any challenge we face in life.
I know there will be many more tough decisions to come across our path as we take our parents’ role as the adults. I pray God helps me learn to adjust my approach up front, so a needless argument doesn’t ensue at a time we need each other the most. I pray God helps us grow as a married couple, but also as friends. I think there are so many days when we forget that we once were the only thing each other could see, think about, and imagine a life with. We miss our friendship, and as we lean on each other for comfort and sound advice, we must first lean on our Lord.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” —2 Corinthians 4:18
We have a bright future safe inside His promises, and I thank Him for each day he gave us with Barney.
