Marriage and gender are like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich: it’s not pb&j without the pb&j. We cannot have marriage without the roles of male and female living together. Genesis 1 through 3 explains that we have distinct gender roles and that these roles were created in equality. Marriages, like a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich need both the male and female operating as distinctly different beings together with one common goal:
To live so as to grow the other’s glory. We should look at our spouses with awe towards the glory of their gender as well as their role in marriage.
Mankind, male and female, was created in the image of the Godhead; the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Let us make man in our image, after our likeness (Genesis 1:26, ESV).”
In this passage, the most important aspect of gender is that male and female were both created in God’s image. Neither gender is more or less important than the other, and it takes both male and female living towards their respective roles to make the purposes of biblical marriage come to fruition.
Marriage was created in the context to allow for the man to lead, to differentiate, and for the woman to be with him as his helper. The curse has caused us to pervert these roles and view the man as domineering over the woman, and the woman as less important than the man.
The defined gender roles in Genesis 2 call us to see differentiation as equally important as the woman’s role of being a helper. We see the man’s call of leading and differentiation by naming the animals of God’s creation. During this naming a helper was needed and thus God created woman. But she was not created disproportionately in terms of importance. If we are to truly view gender roles in the context of a woman and man on the same level, marriages wouldn’t end at a more than 50% rate.
God gives marriage a distinct outline in that we are to leave, cleave, and weave together. This process should help us to attain the overall goal of marriage as we create a new entity that could not exist without the context of marriage.
The fall presents us with a problem in having such distinct gender roles. No longer is our work in marriage to fill and multiply while ruling and subduing. While those commands still remain in tact, we are to do so while fighting the sin that is within each of us. Filling, multiplying, ruling, and subduing would be more productive if the curse upon man and woman did not ring true. The woman will experience lifelong pain in relationships as a mother as well as a wife while man’s work in life will never be complete and will be full of toil. Marriage is the place of sanctifying both our individuality and our gender.
Our challenge is to understand marriage and gender in a pre-fall context. If we rest upon our roles as defined by the fall, then our hope will not be upon the true goal to enhance and be in awe of our spouses glory. Like a pb&j, the glory of marriage is the distinction of male and female roles coming together to create something far better than on their own.
