Have you ever accused your beloved of being cheap? My husband and I have a running joke, “If it’s free, it’s me!” Free food? We’re in. Free kids stuff at a moving sale? We’re in. Free day at the museum? We’re in. Some may say we’re cheap. We say we’re frugal.
During the 14 years we’ve been married, we’ve enjoyed hunting for some pretty amazing bargains. The Costco Christmas tree that came with lights (we saw it in the warehouse for $350)—we got that for $15 during the heat of summer at a garage sale. A Jacuzzi that actually works—$400 on Craigslist. Our outdoor grill—free from a neighbor.
For fun, I compiled a Top Ten List to determine if you are a frugal spouse:
10. After a fast food meal, you raid the table for unused straws, ketchup pouches, plastic utensils, and napkins.
9. Your son tattles on his sister for leaving the bathroom light on more than 5 seconds after brushing her teeth.
8. You buy cologne at the dollar store.
7. You only shop at thrift stores when they have an additional 20% off.
6. You put down a shirt at a garage sale because they want $2 for it.
5. The only new books your kids have are from the library.
4. You fill up on bread at the fancy restaurants because you can always box up the meal.
3. You never order anything but water to drink.
2. You bring a “to-go” bag for your Costco samples.
1. You tear your Kleenex in half before using.
Yes, I must admit this list was born out of personal experience. For my husband James and I, finances are rarely a sore spot because we’re both very similar in the way we view money. We both like to save, give, and find bargains, but we will also spend money on a quality product or experience like a vacation.
But what if you don’t see eye to eye about money as a couple? That can certainly lead to many misunderstandings, name calling, and even deception (like hiding a new purse or golf club). The Money Couple, Scott and Bethany Palmer, suggests you can start by eliminating surprises. Scott says,
The way to take away money surprises is by understanding your spouse’s money personality. My wife, my beloved, is a spender. So if she goes and spends money, I’m anything but surprised. I don’t wake up and look at Bethany and say, I can’t believe you have red hair. It’s who she is. And the same is true with our money personalities. Now you have a frame of reference to understand each other’s tendencies without resorting to name calling.”
When you know how your spouse is wired financially, it gives you new tools to communicate about money and marriage. It’s like a light is turned on and you understand, “Oh, that’s why you do that with our money!” Whether you’re a saver or a spender, you can work together with your spouse on a financial plan of action that works for both of you. I suppose a couple of savers have to make sure they have some fun, and couples who are spenders have to make sure they don’t have too much fun. And if you’re a saver/spender combination, consider it a blessing. You can balance each other out.
Isn’t that what much of marriage is about?
