My mom told me about the five love languages before I knew they came from a book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The concept made sense to me: we experience love and give love in different ways. Yes! This is true for me, and offers a reason for why it has been difficult to feel love in some relationships.
My case was tricky, I thought, because I was quite certain that whoever I married would have to speak all of the love languages to me, in order for me to experience love. When I took the test for the first time, though, Words of Affirmation came out on top. When other people, especially my fiance, Joe, tell me that I am doing a good job, or that they appreciate something about me, I feel full and motivated. Joe’s love language is Words of Affirmation too, so we tend to express love in the same way.
Last month, those languages became meaningful for me in a different way … because I had an opportunity to hear married couples tell about how learning to love each other changed the course of their marriage, and in some instances restored broken marriages. However, not only were these folks brave enough to tell their stories, but they also found the courage to share in front of a camera and tell their stories for a taping of Oprah Winfrey’s show, Lifeclass.
My fellow colleagues and I sat in the studio audience of Lifeclass, not sure what to expect of the interview she was about to have with guest, Gary Chapman.
Rather than the typical interview-format I expected, though, the show was centered on helping couples in their marriages using Dr. Chapman’s love language tool, as well as hearing their testimonies. From falling out of love to having affairs to contemplating divorce, we (some through tears) listened through stories about broken marriages being restored, and some that were hopefully on their way. Together, husbands and wives had the opportunity to hear advice from Chapman, and he focused on each of them as if they were in a private counseling session.
As my fiance and I prepare to begin our own marriage this spring, there’s a helpful message I’ll take away from that Lifeclass: there is always hope no matter how difficult marriage gets. It’s worth working toward unity and love, even when we don’t feel loved.
The show will air for the very first time this coming Sunday, February 10 at 9/8 cst. For a sneak peak of the episode, click here.
