Q: My husband and I both are blessed in having the same love languages—quality time and physical touch top the list for both of us. He is scheduled to deploy next May. What are some things we can do to help keep our love tanks full while he is deployed?
A: Well, the good news is that all the love languages can be spoken long distance. I often address military couples and this is good news. For example you may be asking the question, “How can we physically touch each other when we’re half a world away?” But if he says to you in an email, “Honey, if I were home I’d give you a big hug and kiss. I love you,” you’ll feel it even though he’s not physically touching you, it will communicate to you emotionally. The same thing is true if you are communicating physical touch to him by way of internet or phone (when he has that opportunity.)
It is the same principle with quality time. You can speak this language by having an extended conversation from time to time over the phone or over the internet, especially if you can get on the same time schedule and can talk back and forth.
Another thing that I’ve found to be really helpful for military couples is writing letters the old fashion way. When your spouse gets that letter, opens it up and reads it, they realize your hands held that paper and that you wrote those words. They can read the letter two or three times and mediate on it … it’s very different from an email and often touches emotions in a much more profound manner. So I would suggest that quality time can be spoken by writing letters to each other.
You can keep love alive while you’re deployed.
