It’s so relieving to read a book by authors who don’t pretend to be smarter than you are. It’s not so relieving to read a book that scratches the scabs off of ordinary relationship issues. Wounds you’d rather let heal on their own.
Beyond Ordinary by Justin and Trisha Davis is not a title that jumps off the shelf, but after you read the first chapter you won’t be able to put it down. Either you will be drawn in by the genuine voices of Justin and Trisha Davis, or you will be drawn in by their ability to crawl inside your head. For me, it was both.
Beyond Ordinary is much more than another therapist hiding in a book binding. It’s written like a story. Justin and Trisha Davis take turns striking up a veritable conversation with the reader. They begin by sharing their credentials, earned on the anvil of experience. If these guys can figure marriage out after some of their mistakes, take courage, you can too!
Entertaining as it is, don’t get the idea that this book won’t hit you where it hurts. Conviction is laced through every sentence; you simply don’t feel like you’re the only one who’s messed up this marriage thing.
For me, the most stunning element of the Davis’ book, was their lack of focus on avoiding divorce. They write to keep marriages from simply existing, not only to pull them back from the brink of death. The Davises offer rescue within the distance between, “I do,” and divorce. Beyond Ordinary, aspires to teach couples how to develop physical, spiritual and emotional oneness.
Beyond Ordinary holds no punches. I sat in a bookstore as I read the final pages. I had to turn toward the wall so strangers wouldn’t watch my eyes fill with tears. Years of ordinary led up to the breaking point in the Davises marriage. Their story held up a mirror and I can see my husband and I sitting comfortably in the midst ordinary. We are thrilled when we avoid conflict. We avoid real intimacy by saying we’re too busy. We keep unwritten, “you owe me lists.” We live according to contract instead of covenant.
I am acutely aware that we do not have an extraordinary marriage. And I was almost discouraged by how deeply my husband and I have sunk into ordinary, until I came to the final pages of the book. Even in the closing chapter, new obstacles rise up to meet the Davises; yet through their words, I can almost feel them straining into the wind.
Summing up their past, their present and the vision God has for every marriage, Justin says,
God is fighting for you right now. God is fighting for your heart. God is fighting for your husband. God is fighting for your wife. God’s vision for your marriage is extraordinary. Don’t stop fighting…Don’t lose hope.”
So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up (Galatians 6:9).
