A few years back before I was married I started thinking about my daily life and all the things I didn’t do anymore. Or not very often, at least. They were activities I enjoyed that renewed me and enriched my life. But because of the busyness of work and other daily duties I felt like I didn’t really have the time or energy to pursue them.
And then I came to my senses.
What brings you joy?
I realized that by not making the time to do the things I loved I was not fully living as the person God created me to be. I was in a routine of busyness, duty, and apathy to some degree. So I sat down and wrote a list of the activities I wanted to begin making time for again. I wrote up daily, weekly and monthly goals to start incorporating back into my life. I made the goals easily doable and not too “big” because I didn’t want to set myself up for failure.
A couple of those goals were going for a walk at the beach at least twice a month, because I love being near the ocean–it renews me and connects me to God; and reading a book for fun at least twice a week for 30 minutes, because I love to read and other than the Bible I hadn’t been reading much else. While those goals may sound small or simple they were meaningful to me because they brought me joy.
Goals for couples
Now at the start of the new year I like to write out new goals for the year and review my goals from the past year, assessing what worked and what didn’t. Making new goals as a single person is a fantastic practice and it’s also important for couples and families. Now that I’m married, my husband and I also make goals to pursue together over the year. Like reading the Bible and praying together at least once a week and going on a date night once a month.
It’s also important to incorporate goals that support the other person in the relationship. For example, my husband doesn’t love walking at the beach but I do and I like to share it with him, so a goal would be for him to go with me once every few months. On the other hand, I don’t love going to car shows but he does so maybe I make the goal of going with him to three car shows a year. Remember to make the goals achievable.
When you have kids
One of the couples I’m friends with have six kids but they work together to give each other a “day off” each week where they can each sleep in, rest and pursue hobbies that are important to them; and have down time away from the kids. They are also intentional about regularly finding someone to watch their kids so they can have alone time together to keep connecting as a couple.
When you help your spouse get a regular break to pursue the activities that bring them life and joy, that will usually spill over into the family atmosphere making it a win-win for everyone. And remember to help your kids learn to set their own life goals while modeling the practice in your own life.
No better time than now
I encourage you to begin thinking about the God-given passions, desires and even just fun and light hearted activities that you love and enjoy. Sometimes some of those good desires God put into your DNA when He created you that make you who you are have disappeared from your life. There is no better time than now to rediscover them. Because doing them makes you better, happier and closer to God.
Now what are you waiting for? Make those goals and go for it!
