Heather Bissett … I don’t think I will ever tire of hearing it. But I have inquired more than a new name in the past month. I am now a wife to the most incredible man I’ve ever met. I also have a second set of parents: three new brothers-in-law, a new sister-in-law, and eight new nieces and nephews. I have been blessed with a wonderful family and have now gained an incredible family through my husband. Does life get any better than this?
Sitting at the rehearsal dinner, I looked around the room. My soon-to-be husband beside me and our family and closest friends all around us. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.
With all that in mind, I want to appeal to you, whatever stage in life you are in. Take the time to get to know your in-laws. There are so many jokes out there mocking in-laws and the pitiful relationship between them and their children’s spouses. Don’t get me wrong, they can be funny, but for those living through that type of relationship, it’s not pretty.
Think about the road to marriage—you don’t plunge into the deep life changing love until you spend lots and lots of time truly getting to know the other person. And you don’t have a deep loving bond with your in-laws without investing time either.
My husband and I gave a lot of thought to getting to know each other’s families, which isn’t always easy when you have to find time in everyone’s busy lives. We purposefully looked for ways to include them in our lives. We had Sunday afternoon dinners, sought their advice, asked questions, listened to their stories and opened up to them about ourselves.
These things didn’t happen over night.
Our relationship happened with them on purpose.”
Just as our relationship developed as boyfriend/girlfriend, so did ours with our in-laws. So that when we came to a point of saying “I do” to each other, we felt fully confident in marrying into the other’s family.
So here is what I suggest you do: Whether you are just beginning a relationship, are dating, engaged, or married for years, get to know your beloved’s family. Sometimes distance makes it tough, but find a way. Send cards, write letters, email, call or text message them … whatever you can use to get close. If you are fortunate enough to live close, go spend time with them. I suggest that it not just be a few hours. Spend the day together.
I know it may be awkward at first since you may not know enough about them to find common ground but it will come with time. Try asking their advice for a gift for your beloved and ask them to come help you pick it out. That’s something I did with my in-laws before Jacob and I were married. It was so fun to spend the evening together. I was able to get to know them more when it was just the three of us.
I am confident that you will never regret taking the time to get to know them. After all, this is your beloved’s family. It would be nice to see where he/she got the qualities that you love so much. I will tell you from personal experience, that marrying your best friend gets even better when you’re also gaining the family that you have already come to love as your own.
On a personal note, Les and Irene Bissett, thank you for investing your time in me. I have loved getting to know you and I love being your daughter-in-law.
FEATURED CONTRIBUTOR:
Heather M. Bissett is a foster care and adoption caseworker from a small town in Ohio. She earned her bachelors in Family and Consumer Sciences at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. She enjoys spending time with her wonderful husband, Jacob, family and friends. She also treasures her time working in the media department and leading drama ministries at her church. Heather is passionate about helping others, working with children, teens and adults, and sipping Coke Zero as often as possible. Visit Heather on Facebook or
Twitter.
