Delaying marriage until you can afford an extravagant wedding with all the trimmings is unnecessary.
I love officiating weddings. It’s one of the best parts of my job. Over the past few years during our nation’s recession, weddings seem to be so much cheaper and streamlined. I like that. Nothing wrong with a big, fancy wedding, but I love it when couples prioritize their marriage over the wedding.
I’ve officiated weddings ranging in cost from a few hundred dollars to the high six figures. I’ve performed ceremonies under large tents, in gardens, on rocky bluffs, and in castles, chapels, houseboats and churches. I’ve stood before intimate gatherings of twenty guests and sprawling events for five hundred guests. But the wedding my wife and I keep talking about took place at our favorite resort in southwest Missouri.
Johnny Morris, the founder of Bass Pro Shops, built Big Cedar. Now before you guess that our favorite wedding included a bunch of rednecks at a marina with strings of shotgun-shell lights, you need to know that Big Cedar is a luxurious resort and spa in a woodland setting. It’s the wedding we’ve dreamed about for our daughter. But, of course, we’ll let her have a say.
The wedding ceremony took place at sunset. The bride and groom hailed from opposite ends of the country and traveled to Branson with only their immediate families. Big Cedar sits on Table Rock Lake with several dozen cabins and lodges lining the shore. This particular wedding took place on a point with a 180-degree view of the water. It was gorgeous.
Amy and I walked into this quaint cabin and were greeted by twenty to thirty people laughing and having a good time. We mingled for thirty minutes or so before I accompanied the bride and groom out onto the balcony just before sunset. I stood with my back up against the balcony. The bride and groom faced each other, holding hands, and the best man and maid of honor stood by their sides. And through the double doors stood their family and my precious bride, Amy. The sunset painted our backdrop. They exchanged vows and rings and stepped inside for a few photos, cake, and punch. It was relaxed, picturesque, tear-filled, and over-the-top memorable. Cost?
- Weekend for family at Big Cedar: $1,700
- Wedding Dress: $500
- Wedding to Remember: Priceless
Consider cheaper weddings. I love being a part of destination weddings, beach weddings, family backyard weddings, after-Sunday-morning-service weddings, casual weddings, theme weddings, and, dare I say it, elopement. Yes, elopement is perfectly legal, but make sure your elopement honors your parents.
There are a few simple guidelines to consider as you plan your wedding and avoid unnecessary delay. Don’t allow your parents to tap into their home equity line of credit to pay for your wedding. Dave Ramsey would call that “Stupid!” You can help your parents pay for the wedding. Shoot, you can even offer to pay for the whole thing! Mom and dad of bride do not have to pay for your over-the-top dream wedding. Face it—some traditions may need to die to expedite marriage. When you approach your parents, come up with a plan rooted in the philosophy.
Less is more.”
Consider better alternatives to big, expensive weddings. Go on a short, close-to-home honeymoon. Save your money and put it toward first-year living expenses. Put extra cash toward student loans. Have more money to save and give away.
