I married my husband, Jason, because he was a youth pastor and I had a burning passion for ministry–and because Jason was so handsome and I had a burning passion for him. I wanted to do BIG things for God’s Kingdom and I had visions of the two of us conquering the world in Jesus name.
That plan did not involve children.
In the first seven years of our marriage, Jason and I intentionally chose childlessness because we wanted to serve Christ. We saw children as a burden. We believed that our careers and ministry and marriage were too important to risk the strain children would bring. We didn’t feel called to become parents nor did we see parenting as potential ministry.
We had been lied to. It’s a lie that has been whispered into many ears. Maybe even yours.
God has always been in the business of using His people to do great things for the kingdom. But His vision has never been that pastors, preachers, and vocational missionaries have all of the important jobs in Christendom while the rest of us pine for kingdom work beyond our homes.
You know that passage in 1 Corinthians where Paul equates the Body of Christ to an actual body? (Great metaphor, Paul!) His whole point is that there is not position on the totem pole of ministry that is more or less important. In fact, there is no totem pole at all. All jobs, seemingly big and noteworthy, or seemingly small and insignificant, when done for the Kingdom matter.
If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body” (1 Corinthians 12:19).
Raising a family didn’t fit well into my neat little box of what I thought ministry looked like. But as I studied God’s Word for His heart on marriage, children and families I found that He places great value on ministering to your family and ministering with your family.
Here’s a note my wise husband once wrote to me along with a picture of our youngest son, Noble.
If case you were wondering why you work so hard, why you hit the ground running, and why each day is full of tasks that seem to never get completely done…Here is a photo of why you do it. You do it to make his life better. You do it to show him what a life spent for Jesus looks like. You do it so he knows Jesus is more important than he is—but nothing else is. You do it so he can learn important things and avoid learning things he doesn’t need to. You do it for me, you do it for Noble, you do it for Eli (our other son), and you do it for Jesus. I’m proud of you.”
See why I married that boy! His perspective helped me widen my lens and broaden my definition of ministry. I’d like to do the same for you. If you are among those couples opting not to have children because you want to do big things for God, may I offer you one little kernel of truth to chew on? Being a parent is a ministry. Your children (or children to be) are an unreached people group and if you are willing you are the missionary God desires to use to show them about His love.
I’m not trying to wriggle my way into your family planning decisions, but I would like you to ask each other this question: Do you see children as a barrier to important ministry? If the answer is “yes,” can I simply encourage you to search God’s Word for His ministry blueprint and commit to pray together for guidance about how He can use you and your family?
Note: Portions of this post are taken from Erin’s latest release, “Beyond Bath Time: Embracing Motherhood As a Sacred Role.”
