My eyes were glued to our mini-van’s glass window, trying to find every possible hotel billboard that mentioned the word “pool.” Who needs Mount Rushmore or Niagara Falls? On a cross-country road trip, as a child, nothing could trump the delight of a massive box of chlorine. Needless to say I grew increasingly skeptical of our family’s plan that night as we pulled into a local “otel” (Later, my eight-year-old mind put together the fact that the “M” was burnt out).
Instead of shallow-end handstand contests with my siblings, we found ourselves piled on the floor huddled around a circa 1970’s retro tone crank-by-hand-to-change-the-channel type of TV. We tried our best to avoid the aroma of rotten eggs that the running shower gave off while my dad, the most gracious man I’ve ever met who couldn’t bear the thought of saying “no” to the little old lady behind the counter, kept reminding us: “It’s just one night.”
Knowing that we would only be staying in a run-down motel, amidst shag rugs and plaid bedding, for only one evening allowed us to forgive some things that otherwise may have been more difficult to handle if we were staying longer.
What to do with disappointment
Don’t get me wrong, I was disappointed—especially when I found out we could have stayed at the Holiday Inn with a pool for $7 more. And I’d love to tell you, now that I’m all grown up, that petty things don’t bother me anymore and I’ve mastered the skill of thinking long-term. However I find myself re-learning this lesson time and time again especially when it comes to relationships.
As believers, we know our stay in this often times “not what we were hoping for” world is temporary, yet it can be difficult to see past the things that let us down.
From retro motels to relationships
No matter if you’re in the beginning stages of looking for a mate, a serious dating relationship, or even marriage, there are conversations, reactions, or mis-understandings that we all go through that weren’t quite what we were hoping for. And quite frankly it can feel disheartening at times. However, just as my evening in the retro fabulous motel was temporary so is our stay in this world. 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 says:
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”
Sigh…I just LOVE that encouragement! Friends, don’t lose heart! Yes, that conversation may not have gone as planned; maybe that anniversary present wasn’t the token of love you anticipated; or the planning of your upcoming wedding doesn’t feel like a joyous celebration. Don’t lose heart! Our current hardships are not only temporary but are preparing us for endless delight come our eternal home! Sounds great, right?! For those of you whose inner monologue just went,
“Well, sure, in theory, but HOW do we do that? How do we endure life’s hardships? How do we press on in the difficulties of relationships? How do we take heart when our one evening in the motel seems like a lifetime?”
Let me encourage you with scripture which has been helpful for me as I walk this journey:
Pretty much all of Colossians 3 is a great how-to guide. I recommend you read the whole chapter, but for now let’s focus on verse 2 which tells us:
“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things..”
The verse doesn’t say hope or try; God is direct with the command. He tells us to intentionally “set” our thoughts, our vision, our attitude, not on the things of this world but on Him! Not merely when it’s convenient or easy, not only when we feel empowered or encouraged… but always! Even when we hope and anticipate to stay at the Four Seasons or Hilton but find ourselves in the “otel.”
May the overflow of joy that comes from focusing on Christ strengthen our hearts, be an encouragement as we work through relationships, and raise our focus from this temporary world to our eternal home.
FEATURED CONTRIBUTOR:
Melissa Ruggiero is a wife and photographer, who loves using photography as a ministry. She is passionate about the dating and marriage process, and wholeheartedly believes that if we understand, in a personal way, that the greatest romance of our lives is in being the bride of Christ, than our relationships will be more fulfilling. Melissa is also an advocate for the Home of Love in Chennai, India and for the Invisible Girl Project.
