Even the toughest guy in the world prefers safety to vulnerability. That’s why the Roman Legion carried shields. It’s natural to seek one’s own security. But that should only be when the Visigoths are attacking. It shouldn’t mean withdrawing emotionally when things get tough in a relationship and the stones and arrows start flying.
Unfortunately, on a spiritual and emotional level, men got rewired to run away from uncomfortable realities spurred on by sin. Adam’s “natural instinct” was to hide after he sinned (Gen. 3:10). As Christian men we must overcome our sin by putting on our new nature in Christ
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” – 1 John 4:18
Hard? Heck yeah! But becoming withdrawn and emotionally unavailable is a death sentence to a marriage, even while it might make you feel stronger for a moment. Isolation is not manly, it is fearful. Sharing your fears is not weakness. It takes courage.
The “strong, silent type” is a myth of the movies.
Men who chronically pull back from difficult things in marriage are usually insecure, have little tolerance for being questioned, and would rather defend their poor choices than admit they should have asked for help—from their wife, their pastor, or their best friend. The “strongest” men are those who drag their fears or frustrations or foibles out into the light of objective review—not to use them as a justification for their failings or shortcomings, but to get real help in facing them.
