I had many things on my list to happen in 2010, but buying a house was not one of them. My husband and I fully expected to start our lives together in an apartment, which we did for the first seven months of our marriage: in a little shoebox apartment with a vintage claw foot tub (aka, no shower), and a simple kitchen (aka, no cabinets). We figured all newlyweds start out with humble beginnings, and didn’t worry too much about it. So why did we end up buying a house our first year of marriage?
I’ll try to give you the short version. My husband happened to see the house up for sale in the area where we would be living after we got married, and when he found the listing price, he ran some numbers. The house needed some serious TLC and elbow grease, and it is also very small, two factors contributing to the low price. So when we did the math, we discovered 1) We had enough cash to make a 10% down payment 2) Our monthly mortgage would be slightly less than the average rent in the area, and 3) We would still be able to live off of one income and pay the monthly mortgage. Additionally, we would qualify for the First Homeowner’s Tax Credit, which would almost cover our down payment.
So we began praying. We deliberated. We consulted our parents and other people we trusted for their financial advice, knowing that buying a house at our age and in our first year of marriage is not the typical case. In the end, our decision was that we would make an offer on the house, and if the seller accepted it, we would be thrilled, and if they did not, we would let it go. We decided this was the best way to leave it in God’s hands, and we trusted that whatever happened would be His best for us.
We actually put in our offer right before we got married, and on our honeymoon we determined not to answer any phone calls…unless it was the realtor. We were prepared to accept any outcome, but we were not prepared to be strung along for the next five months. It was difficult, to say the least. Getting our mortgage in line with the bank was a nightmare, and three times the seller asked us for a higher price, and three times we said no. Even our realtor said he had never seen a house purchase take this long or this complicated. But finally, the seller conceded to our original asking price, and it was ours.
I will say that this kind of pressure early in our marriage was very challenging. There were endless hoops to jump through, and there were days when we wondered if the whole thing was a huge mistake. It was stressful, complicated, time-consuming, and exhausting, and we bought a fixer-upper so the work isn’t even finished yet! So I would like to make it clear that I do not necessarily recommend buying a house together right away, but here are some things my husband and I learned along the way.
Be financially wise. There are many questions to take into consideration before you buy a house. First of all, do you have debt to take care of? Paying off debt should be a priority, and adding a home loan to your monthly expenses does not help you toward that goal in the long run. How much of the down payment can you afford? What are you financial goals as a couple, and will buying a house compromise them? One of the reasons we decided to buy our house was because we could pay the down payment in cash, and pay our monthly mortgage while still living off of one income, one of our financial goals.
Be willing to walk away. Looking back, Zach and I realize that God protected us from spending the asking price for the house, which was overpriced due to the extensive renovation that needed to be done. The only reason we got our house for such a low price is because we were willing to walk away. We chose a price we could afford and stuck to it, even though the seller tried to negotiate with us numerous times. We easily could have lost the house, but we were willing to lose it; we already had our apartment and were content to stay there if needed. In the end, this open-endedness served us well. I’ve learned this is a good principle to carry to any purchase; we shouldn’t be “married” to any earthly possession, whether a house, a car, or new shoes. Knowing that you can live without it only helps you make better financial decisions.
Learn to DIY. When we first bought our house, it had flamingo pink tiles covering the kitchen walls. It did not have a functional bathroom or any three-prong outlets. The living room had yellow shag carpet worthy of the 70s era. Get the picture? We could have gone all out renovating our house, but we created a budget for repair costs by focusing on what had to be done first for the house to be livable. We fixed the bathroom, of course, gave everything a fresh coat of paint, pulled out the yellow shag and re-finished the beautiful wood floors underneath. We saved money because we did 99% of the work ourselves, spending hours instead of dollars. I scraped those shameless pink plastic tiles off the wall with my own hands. My husband installed a new counter, and we invited friends over for pizza and painting parties.
Be content with what you have. After we did all the essential repairs and got to the cosmetic updates, things started looking good, and it was at this point that I started wanting more. It would be very easy to convince myself that I need brand new curtains, a shiny faucet, and a stylish light fixture, but I don’t. It’s fun to decorate a home and make it yours, but you can still do this economically. So I made my own artwork to spruce up my mantel, and I checked Craigslist for used furniture and appliances. If you can’t discipline yourself to shop within your budget, I would caution you against buying a home, because you will always find something else you “need.”
Commit it to prayer. Buying a house is a huge, life-changing decision, and when you pray that God will guide you in this decision-making process of where to live, you are entrusting it to His care. In Matthew 6, Jesus teaches us to entrust to Him earthly worries about what we will eat and drink, where we will live, and what we will wear. Instead of worrying, He tells us to pour our energy into prayer, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33). In prayer, we are also reminded that whether we buy a house or rent, our livelihood is in good hands.
There are many questions and considerations that go into purchasing a home, but the bottom line is that our American standard of living is not an entitlement but a gift. Whether you are a homeowner who has set down your roots or a renter ready for the next thing, maturity is recognizing that material things are not something we “own” or deserve but gifts from God, and learning to hold these things in an open hand.
