In our American culture of drive-through coffee, instant Twitter feeds, and video on demand, we prize immediacy. We can check our email on our phone as soon as it hits our inbox, we can grab lunch to-go at the pick-up window, and download live-streaming news with the click of a button. We are a nation of busy professionals, parents, and students living under the banner of “carpe diem,” driven by the idea that there’s no time like the present.
This “now” syndrome certainly has advantages, motivating us to work hard and invest fully in whatever we’re doing. But a preoccupation with the present also diminishes our ability to see seasons, to observe the unfolding of time by reflecting on the past and anticipating the future. Immediacy often hinges on convenience, and convenience is all about shortcuts and quick-and-easy solutions. So what happens when we apply our instant-culture values to our relationship with an eternal God? Sometimes it’s the things that make us wait that are the most rewarding.
In the middle of the Lenten season, we now find ourselves in a time of waiting, inconvenience, and even self-denial. Lent is part of the liturgical church year, which traditionally commemorates days and seasons in order to remember the events of the life of Christ as we live through the year. Historically, Lent is one of the oldest church traditions, tracing back to the the first and second century where it began as a two-day fast in preparation for Easter. Over the years, this period of self-examination, prayer, and fasting has lengthened into a forty-day period to reflect Jesus’s journey from His fasting and temptation in the desert, to the Garden of Gethsemane, to the cross. It begins with Ash Wednesday, serving to humble and remind us that “you are dust, and to dust you will return” (Gen. 3:19), and concludes with the agony of Good Friday, the silence and sorrow of Holy Saturday, and the jubilant victory of Easter Sunday.
Even though Lent is an ancient church tradition, evangelicals today are mixed in their practice of this penitential season. The liturgical year is commonly observed by Catholics, Anglicans, and Episcopalians, but other denominations range from encouraging fasting and prayer to letting Ash Wednesday pass with only a marginal mention. The Bible gives no direct command to observe Lent; it is a man-instituted tradition. But I believe the real reason for this season is our benefit as both individual believers and as a church body: as we intentionally observe the events of the life of Christ, we align ourselves with God’s unfolding story of redemption.
Bobby Gross, author of Living the Christian Year (IVP Books,2009), says it best, “But how does inhabiting the Story of God in liturgical time actually shape our lives? Here is the simple answer: by remembering and anticipating.” Remembering and anticipating Christ is a transformative experience, as we position ourselves in God’s eternal scheme by reorienting and refocusing our lives on Christ. As we walk through the Lent season, we can idenitify with the suffering of Christ leading up to His crucifixion, so that we can fully celebrate that “He is risen indeed!” on Easter morning.
I also believe that observing Lent can have great benefits for marriage. If Lent is a time of walking with Christ and humbling ourselves before Him, imagine how it would strengthen your marriage to make that journey together! Scripture demonstrates that God moves powerfully on behalf of those who seek His Name together (2 Chron. 7:14, Matt. 18:20), and seeking God with your spouse through prayer, Scripture reading and meditation, and even fasting will bring you closer to each other as you draw closer to God.
It’s not always easy to humble yourself before God and set aside time to dwell with Him, let alone try to do this with your spouse. Your relationship with God is deeply personal, and integrating this part of you with your spouse can be challenging or uncomfortable. But Scripture has a beautiful expression for this spiritual intimacy in marriage, calling a husband and wife “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). In God’s design for marriage, He intended for us to be one (Gen. 2:24), to love each other in the pattern of Christ’s selfless and sacrificial love for the church (Eph. 5), and to spur each other on in our process of sanctification (Eph. 5:26-27). By design, marriage is an intensely spiritual relationship.
And I want my marriage to be a company of three, a couple growing closer to each other as they draw nearer to their God. Entering this Lenten season, I have a few thoughts on how I want to intentionally pursue this with my husband.
Probably the first thing about Lent that comes to mind is fasting. Many people participate in food fasting, giving up meat for these forty days, chocolate, or processed foods. The heart of fasting is in giving up something you rely on or enjoy in order to better understand your daily reliance on Christ. Instead of focusing on your physical hunger during a fast, you redirect that hunger towards Christ in a very tangible, experiential way to learn how desperately you need Him. But fasting is not limited to food; you can fast from television, books, wearing make-up, or buying fancy espresso drinks. I think fasting from technology is a fascinating idea, as a way to put away distraction and refocus on spiritual realities. For Lent, I’d like to limit my time on social media sites and put away my laptop when my husband gets home, so that I can invest in our relationship rather than spending that time online.
We will also read a devotional together to walk us through the Lent season together. My husband and I pray together, but we usually study Scripture separately. So every Sunday after church we plan to read a devotional together that will help us experience this spiritual season together, by remembering Christ’s suffering and anticipating His resurrection.
I’m also going to take time to reflect on my own life, and carefully consider the ways God is calling me to change. To be honest, I do not look forward to this, knowing I will have to come to terms with the fact that I am human, selfish, and sinful. I will be praying for God first to reveal to me areas of sin in my life, and then make my confession and ask for His forgiveness. I also want to do this for my marriage, asking God to show me where I can love my husband better, confessing to Zach verbally the ways I do not love him like I should, and asking for his forgiveness as well. It’s a dangerous prayer to ask God to change you, but I’m looking forward to how this will strengthen my relationship with Christ and my husband.
In a culture of immediacy and convenience, it is often difficult for us to lay down our gadgets and accessories to just sit for a while, quiet our souls, and dwell with God. And yet, He laid down everything for us, making Himself “nothing” and emptying Himself to the point of death (Phil. 2:7-98). In his beautiful poem “Seven Stanzas at Easter,” John Updike writes of the agony of the cross, “Let us not seek to make it less monstrous, for our own convenience…” Lent is just one season to help us in our faith, but as believers we can always grow in Christ by reflecting on His death and new life, at any time of the year. As we approach Easter this year, let us reflect sincerely and sorrowfully on Christ’s suffering for us, so that on Easter morning, our hearts will grasp the incredible joy in His resurrection.
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