Growing up, I always wanted to subscribe to all of those girly magazines touting the answers to life’s most important questions on love, beauty, and health. Unfortunately for me, my mom banned them in our house claiming they were negative influences that we didn’t need to be exposed to. At the time, I felt like my femininity was in jeopardy without these must-have girl guides. After all, every other girl I knew was reading them, so they must be essential, right?
Time passed, and even after I moved out of my parents’ home, I never really got into the habit of reading fashion, gossip, or beauty magazines. Perhaps it was my mom’s voice in the back of my head warning me about their damaging messages. It was only a few days ago when I cracked open a recent edition of Glamour magazine that I had received for free that I realized just how scarily accurate my mom really was.
“Hey Guys: What’s Your New Year’s Resolution in Bed?” is the featured headline on page fifty-nine. Eight guys talked of their sexual endeavors in the New Year (none of which were appropriate). On the adjoining page is an article about what guys and girls call their counterpart’s private areas. A few pages later is a questionnaire promising to tell you if the sex will be great between you and your significant other. Flip, flip, flip. Page 128 reads “Ten Signs You’re Great in Bed (As if You Didn’t Already Know).” Get the idea?
Page by page I turned through the magazine with my mouth literally open in awe. Sandwiched between advertisements peddling beauty products to be thinner, sexier, and irresistible are all these articles pushing sex, superficiality, and a lifestyle that is far from God’s perfect or ideal design for men, women, and the relationship between them. It is shocking that women everywhere, especially young ones, are reading this for their information on what’s important, beautiful, healthy, and “normal” for their life and relationships.
My husband came over to ask me what I was reading, and I looked up and said, “Trash! These magazines are the biggest waste of my time.” He laughed and remarked how he was surprised I even gave them a moment’s glance. It scared me though that this is where so many women are going to find out how to live. Even if you don’t buy into most of the magazine’s content, these are dangerous messages to be feeding yourself.
We underestimate the importance of positive influences and the effect of negative influences in our lives. We think that if we are aware of the truth then we are immune to the world’s damaging messages. The truth is that Satan only needs an inch to go a mile in our lives. God’s Word tells us that “the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). In 1 Peter 5:8 God warns us to “be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” This is true for your individual life as well as your relationships.
In The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, the authors mention how “your marriage has enemies out there. They come in different forms and use different strategies, but nonetheless they will conspire to destroy your relationship unless you know how to ward them off.” This is true long before you are married too. If you are feeding yourself with lies and harmful influences before you are married, you are setting yourself and your spouse up for potential problems and failure. It’s important to know your enemies and learn to protect yourself, your future marriage, and your spouse against them. Stephen and Alex warn against these enemies, “Some are clever and seem attractive, only to undermine your love and appreciation for one another. Others try to lure your heart away from your spouse by feeding you unhealthy fantasies and unrealistic comparisons. It’s a battle you must wage to protect your marriage.”
We may think that the things and people we listen to, watch, and surround ourselves with are insignificant and always within our control, but we must be careful and discerning in order to protect ourselves from Satan’s attacks and pursue a righteous, upright life that reflects God’s image. God tells us that Jesus came that we have life, and have it to the fullest (John 10:10). We have to do our part, though.
Here are some ways to guard your own life and your future marriage:
- Watch what you watch. Trust me when I say I know how difficult it is to filter the images and messages you see and receive through TV shows and movies. My husband and I struggle with wanting to watch movies and shows but then finding out that the majority of them are inappropriate according to God’s standards. Nonetheless, our marriage and relationship with Christ is way more important than entertaining ourselves. Check the ratings on movies. Think twice about what you are allowing into your life and home. Do these movies or shows line up with God’s standards? Finally, I always think a practical way of measuring if a movie or show is appropriate to watch is asking myself, “Would I feel comfortable watching this with my parents?” That usually weeds things out pretty quickly.
- Be careful what your read. There are a lot of books, blogs, and magazines out there with harmful messages. Don’t assume that you can pick and choose what goes in and sticks to your heart and mind. It’s easier to use discretion in what you are reading before you start reading it. Choose to read things that build you up as an individual, future (or current) spouse, and child of God. There are plenty of Christian magazines, books, and blogs out there that can enrich your life rather than undermine it. The best part is, they are far from being a snooze.
- Carefully select your counsel. Exercise discernment in who you confide in and seek advice from. It is essential to surround yourself with people who are God-fearing, God-loving, and who have your best interest in mind. All too often people meet an unnecessary demise because they have selected a poor circle of friends to influence and guide them. Carefully consider who is speaking into your life and if they should be.
This doesn’t mean we isolate ourselves from society and avoid any and all cultural awareness. What it means, though, is that we need to pay closer attention to what we are seeing, hearing, and receiving. Satan always uses the “harmless” things to harm us. He is tricky and knows just how to capture us. Think about how he tempted Jesus in the desert after Jesus had been fasting for forty days and nights. He used bread, something seemingly harmless. In Proverbs 4:23 the Bible says, “above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Feeding ourselves messages that are contrary to God’s Word only leads to destruction, pain, and heartache. It is important to envelope ourselves with God’s truth, love, and guidance in order to have the life and relationships He intended for us to have. Each of us has to make that decision on our own, though. I would encourage you to enlist the help of the Holy Spirit in your day-to-day living. Allow Him to guide and direct you through life as to what is glorifying and acceptable to God.
It’s easy to get caught up in the world’s seemingly glamorous mirage of fashion-forward, footloose, carefree living. The truth is that there is nothing glamorous, fulfilling, or beneficial about the empty promises of this world. Our value, hope, and lives are only safe, secure, and fulfilled in living the life God designed for us. That starts with filling our lives with His Word, His people, and His influences.
