What is dating really all about? What should dating look like? Does how you date now affect your marriage later?
Dating has greatly evolved over time. It started out as courting, which entailed meeting to get to know each other and decide if there would be an engagement. Usually courtship was a public affair, done with family approval. Obviously things have changed significantly. Oftentimes the family doesn’t even know anything about the person you are dating. Television and movies have popularized the concept of “living it up” while in the dating process, promoting reckless abandonment of moral conviction. Dating with marriage in mind has become a distant and vague concept.
Despite current trends, dating is training for marriage. It is about quality not quantity, self-awareness rather than self-indulgence, and being careful not careless. The modern day flippant attitude toward dating can lead to serious issues and difficulties down the road, which is why it is important to make sure your head and heart are in the right place.
Dating is a time to establish who you are, what you want and need in a spouse, and what kind of marriage you are looking for. It should be a time of wise selection, careful action, and thoughtful screening. It is a time to refine and solidify what qualities and characteristics you need in a spouse. It is also a place where you can begin to see how you function in relationships, to know where you need to grow and adapt. If you are willing to carefully examine yourself and your dating relationships, you can identify healthy and unhealthy patterns of behavior from your family of origin and life experiences, which can greatly affect your future marriage and family. How you date can set a firm foundation for you, your marriage, and family, or you can be destroying it by damaging your hopes, dreams, outlook, optimism, and body.
What you choose to do, who you select to date, and your behavior in dating are much more significant and important than you might think. While it may seem like a frivolous time to act without real thought or regard, that is not the case. Movies and television shows may paint a picture that lead the viewer to believe a more methodical and careful approach to dating leaves you “missing out” on the real fun, but that is a fallacy. Dating is the precious preparation for you before marriage. It should be treated with care and intentionality. In Proverbs 4:23 the Bible warns us “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
Dating recklessly only leads to damage, baggage, heartache, and consequences. Keeping marriage in mind can help you in navigating that process more carefully and considerately while establishing a framework for your marriage, which ultimately sets you up for a more successful marriage.
